


Three's A Crowd

by DerisiveH



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Character Study, Lonely Avatar Martin Blackwood, Self-Esteem Issues, Social Anxiety, Social Exclusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26466073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerisiveH/pseuds/DerisiveH
Summary: Martin Blackwood regarding friendship, loneliness, and the number three.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Three's A Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> Brrrrrrr first fanfic on ao3 ;) if I forgot to tag anything, please let me know!

Martin Blackwood had friends. He thought that was the stereotype, that lonely people didn't have friends, and he was positive that he did. 

And they were nice friends! He got invited places and they were kind towards him. Martin wasn't a fan of mean people (Jon could be sweet, okay).

Really, he couldn't ask for more. He wouldn't, actually. 

Why would he when he had nothing to complain about?

  
  
  


Okay, if Martin was going to be honest, the lonely probably started when he was younger. Not with capitals, of course, but it was a feeling he was well acquainted with. 

Or, a non-feeling. 

When Martin was sad, he didn't really tear up. He just felt incredibly numb. 

It's not like he never cried. He just rarely did, making sure it was never in front of another. 

Wouldn't want to burden someone with the horror of having open emotions, now would he?

  
  
  


He did a lot of crying, when he was younger. Back when the loneliness wasn't numb.

He cried when he was lonely, which was weird since he had friends. Two very close ones as well. Maybe the problem was how close they were. 

Them, y'know. The two of them were very close. They went around as a three, but Martin knew if they were going on trips or the sleepover had a one person limit, he was the last choice. 

But there were only two choices, so he was probably overreacting. They were still his friends, just maybe not as close as he wished they were. 

  
  
  


Year 6 was probably when this sunk in. He had felt like an outsider before (third wheel in his own friendships- God he was pathetic), but never before as strong as it was then. 

They ran away from him. In the playground. They were laughing and he remembers calling their names, though The Lonely doesn't let him recall what they were.

But he still talked to them after, still had friendly conversation, even if it wasn't as much. So he couldn't complain, not really. 

  
  
  


This experience was not a one time thing. 

Martin Blackwood was popular, but in an "I know him" way, not an "I Know him" way. 

He was definitely fine with it though. 

He could handle it. So what if he stepped on the back of people's feet so much because they were a pair and he was the one left to catch up? So what if he changed his personality to appeal to everyone he met but never managed to get actually close to them?

It was fine. He was fine. 

  
  
  


So really, he shouldn't have expected any different when he joined the archives. Tim and Sasha clearly had their own thing going and at this point he was used to being people's platonic third wheel. 

Still hurt, though. When he wasn't pretending it wasn't happening - when he wasn't numb - it hurt. 

He was sort of excited to have four people in the archive. Two pairs! If Tim and Sasha wanted to be close, it would be fine because he'd have whoever this Jon person was. 

And then he met Jon and he realised he'd graduated to being the fourth wheel.

Couldn't really blame Jon for preferring them. He'd probably do the same because, really, what was there to prefer?

Martin's kindness? It wasn't like the other two weren't also kind. 

His sense of humour? Maybe, if he actually let it show. 

His personality? As if that didn't change with each person he talked to.

He was the least interesting person in the archives, and he was fine with that. 

  
  
  


The discovery of Sasha's death almost marked the end of this. That was probably selfish, to use his friend's death as a marker (even worse since it was a positive one).

But it was true. Jon and Tim couldn't even be called friends anymore and it wasn't as if any of the new staff were rearing for friendship. 

Sure, Jon was off travelling- but when he was back, he talked to Martin the most. 

That was nice: to be sought out. To be wanted.

To be the first choice. 

Of course he wanted Jon to get along with the others. But it wasn't like that was going to happen anytime soon so he might as well enjoy the company.

  
  
  


Then Tim died. Then Jon went into a coma (might as well have died). And Martin was even worse off.

No one in the archives really cared about him. Not even as friends. Certainly not as best friends! They legitimately could not give a shit about him. 

And maybe, all of this was actually not fine. 

  
  
  
  


The first couple of months, he tried to make up for it. He talked to Melanie and Basira, he went on their (sparse) pub nights. 

But Melanie was always invited to Basira's and vice versa. If Martin came along, it was always an afterthought. 

He was doomed to the principle of "three's a crowd". 

Three's a crowd and he'd always be crowded by the fact that he was the plus one one. Y'know, the person you choose if your plus one isn't available. 

  
  
  


When Peter Lukas contacted him with his deal, he'd like to think he was hesitant, but he wasn't in the business of lying to himself as of late. 

It was no wonder The Lonely got him.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I guess if anyone wants to talk to me I'm  
> @derisiveharridan (tumblr)  
> @artharridan (instagram)  
> @derisiveharrid1 (twitter) 
> 
> Hope you have a nice day/night!


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